Painted in 2001

Yesterday I spent some time going through some older artwork and materials in the basement, this is where I had originally set up my studio area. In one corner there are shelves where we store different things. Things such as, stuff we inherited from the past owner, canned green beans (yes I canned them) and older pieces of my art. These are pieces that my children have begged me not to paint over or throw away. So I did not throw them away and have continued to hold them. For a long time I felt embarrassed by them, but continued to keep them against my better judgement.

Painted in 2001

When I first began to paint, I was very timid with the materials. Often thinning the paint down. Mostly, I did this to preserve materials, but also because I had no knowledge of proper use of the paint or the brushes, and my work reflected this. My strokes were flat, I hadn’t gotten the knack of blending yet either and colors were painted on as with pens or crayons, giving my art an almost cartoon-like style. But, I have never feared color! I had had no formal training at this point, and the money I spent on my materials were precious and intimidating. I wonder, if I had never had any training and study, whether I would have even continued to pursue painting and would my

skills have ever evolved and matured much beyond that.

Painted in 1998

I can not remember ever wanting to be anything else besides an artist. I have drawn and doodled all of my life. Perchance, it is because of my choices, decisions and obstacles which slowed my progress, but ignited the passion and desire to keep trying to become an artist. I think so. Creating art is an integral component of who I am and how I navigate through life. These are reasons which have taught me to appreciate all my work.

Sadly, I must say that I found most of my old pastel work destroyed, along with some paintings that were stacked in an area where something leaked or spilled. I know my children will be disappointed to hear this as much as I was to find them ruined. Honestly, it bothers me more than I would like to admit. Which leads me to creating this post and sharing some of those pieces.

Originally I felt embarrassed by this work and wanted to hide or destroy them. Through time and this recent loss, I have learned to appreciate more the value in holding on to older work- as a measure of progress of course and of course for sentimental value, but the mostly, I appreciate how time has honored me, as it alters and sculpts me and the result of what I produce, all in its own fashion.  These lessons and things are irreplaceable.

Painted in 2001